Hiram's Magical Carbon Based Writing Utensil
Not be confused with carbon based lifeforms prevelant on star trek.
SBT - Channel 19"s #1 SHOW!!!
Sinisterly Bad Theater, known to the locals as 'SBT' is a cult hit among those seeking a little fun, a little nostalga and who need to be 'skeerd' a little. It's hosted by Hiram, a retired factory worker, and Old Jim Wafford of Logan Street Signs and Banners (conveniently NOT located on Logan Street ANYMORE!). Some folks hang around just to see the skits promoting Jim's business as the sponsor and some hang around for the old classic horror and sci-fi films. WATCH SATURDAY NIGHTS AT 10PM ON CHANNEL 19
Hiram and Ole" Jim Wafford - Stars of the Show
Hiram lives with his hideously ugly wife Margaret and a black cat (which he believes has ESPN allowing it to predict future sporting event scores) in Westfield. He's paranoid about being annexed into Carmel. His only known friend is 'Slasher Guy' who hides in the bushes outside of his trailer. Hiram retired from Firestone in Noblesville (back when the 'Mericans owned it) and spends alot of this time developing hair-brained ideas that typically fail.
Jim Wafford is the owner of Logan Street Signs and Banners. Since sponsoring SBT, Jim's business has GROWN 1000%!. Why, he can't go anywhere without folks saying, "Hey, you're that guy on TV on Saturday night!" Jim's been accused of being Hiram's twin brother separated at birth. Tune in Saturday Night to 'Sinisterly Bad Theater' and make your own opinion. NOW THAT'S SKEERY!
2 comments:
Winter is the prime season for fleecing: the fat-cats like to gouge the old and the indigent, storing up stacks of cash for the harsh winter months. Its Darwinism at its most red-clawed and violent. Right now, Sallie Mae is tromping through the nation like a rabid wolvervine. Even as we speak they're ruining yultide celebrations right and left, shaming just-graduated college students--hungry for success and for buying thier parents a Christmas present that wasn't purchased with thier own money-- hoping to line the coffers for benefits packages and velvet parachutes for top level executives.
I worked in the collection industry and I know what kind of evil goes on in hidden rooms. They'll use anything against you, like the fact that your mother is into Jewish kaballah or that your father once gave a fifty dolllar donation to help build Jim Baker's theme park and air-conditioned dog house. These bastards are blood-thirsty and shameless, and they'll stop at nothing to see that all the decent folk are squeezed of every extra penny they have to fuel the war machine!
Hiram is not the kind of guy who'd ever go the Nixon route and sell his everlasting soul for an ounce of power and fame. Hiram is a man of the people, a real Rocky Balboa, a people's champion. He throws in his lot with the downtrodeen, the indigent, the fleeced. He worked at Firestone for heaven's sake! He knows people, has a vested interest. He's the guy holding a picket sign in front of Wal-Mart, screaming for the heads of Sam Walton's heirs, like a peasant revolutionary in the 1790's. He cultivates a healthy suspicion---perhaps even a paranoia--of the elite. He decries church, state, and city hall--he's blood brothers with Kesey and Wolf; a three-kind-son-of-a-bitch living off coupons and gas station pizza.
Hiram....not Democrat, not Republican, not a slave to the special interest....but, the people's rep....in 2008!
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